Vision

A few weeks ago I had a vision, if I may call it that. It was not a dream, because I was awake, although I really am not sure what to describe what my state was. Near-death, dead, semi-conscious and conscious are all terms which could've described my state, but honestly I'm still trying to figure out what happened. It troubled me, and I don't know if it was indeed a vision or a flashback, but one thing's for sure- it was scary.

So during my experience, I saw multiple (10+) different 'planes' of existence. The one we are in now is the best plane of existence (a heaven of sorts). This is how we can communicate, see colours, hear, talk, exist in form and shapes, feel. In this plane "we" exist. The "we" is our souls, our very essence and consiousness. I guess we can call this PoE1 (Plane of Existence 1).

In this existence, we exist on different planes. Unlike PoE1, the other PoE are what we would call, or what has been desribed as, hell. Our souls last forever, and that is the saddest part. Because our souls cannot die, they travel through the different planes, cycling through existence. Ultimately, the goals of our souls are to reach PoE1, where they acquire the sense and exist as human beings, i.e. where they have life.

In the other planes (PoE2, PoE3, etc), our souls are dead. We exist, but for nothing. It's like there is no life after death. Our minds/souls are trapped in our dead bodies, in the darkness of our coffins, trying to move and escape. But we are dead, and no-one can help us. It is hell.

In another plane there is a constant rhythmn, like the sound of the heart monitor in the hospital shows, and flashes of life. Honestly, I thought this was probably like when I lost consciousness in hospital and literally died. There is the sound of the defibrillator and the surgeons talking, but your eyes is closed and you are trapped in your non responsive body. You start thinking, "...is this the end?" as your soul drifts in and out of this plane of existense. It is a lost cause, you travel to another PoE, to hell.

In this we are stacked up like blocks in tetris. We have some form, but more like an area of dense spirit. Here we line up as some of us struggle to break out of the plane to get to PoE1 where there is life. The lucky ones escape, those lucky enought to resemble the beat. Not everyone make it.

That is why, as living human beings, we are trying so hard to live longer- to gain immortality. We know, subconsiously, that once we die, our minds, our consciousness, our souls, will leave this existence, condemned to cycle through the PoE until we reach this life once again (PoE1). To leave this life would mean our souls have to travel through the hells, and so we'd do anything to stay in this life.

I tried my best to explain what I saw, but I can't describe everything. What I saw could have spanned timeless generations so I probably didn't see the full picture. There are things I can't comprehend, but slowly I try.

I think everyone know this as we all have been through it in our past existence. Our souls try to hide the pain and 'suffering' of hell, but I guess some individuals remember their past, in visions as I have experienced. Alternatively, this is all bullshit.

I realized looking back that it seemed similar to the concept of Buddhism their "perpetual cycle of conditioned existence and suffering." It is frighteningly similar. One thing to note however that during my vision I saw a reason for God (albeit a superficial one), that I guess doesn't fit with Buddhism. As our souls cycle through hell our minds are simple. The souls cannot think like they do in this PoE1, e.g. calculate maths, interpret our surrounding, seeing the colours. Instead, in hell, our mind can only think of one thing. For many it is fear, or the darkness that is hell. For the lucky ones their mind is of God, and the hope he brings. It is the hope that the 'idea' of God gives our soul that gives them the strength to struggle on, to keep on existing, to escape the Planes of Hell.

It is the lucky souls who believe that have the hope to escape hell.

God

I'm hardly the religious kind. I used to go to church with my mom and step-dad but for a while now I've lost faith in God. There was a time when I was living on the streets when I tried seeking God's guidance, and got nothing.

Recently however a mate of mine, NC, has been trying to help me find my way. I used his initials by the way to keep my blog anonymous but it's no secret really cos anyone who know me will very easily figure out who he is lol.

So in the holidays I met some interesting people. I met an ex-Crown Prosecutor, and a Principle Youth Court Judge. It was uncomfortable at first being in the same room with them since the last time I was with people like them I almost went to jail. This time however the circumstances were different.

They were there to give advice, and share their story. The judge, Mr. Beecroft, was in my opinion, one of the most sincere man I have ever met. At first I was ready to hate, what with my previous experiences with the system, but in the end I was full of respect for the man. There was only one thing that gave him that much strength, and I know that it was his faith.

It is a wonder what our beliefs can compel us to do, what we will be.

Intro

So after my first post I thought I'd write a proper introduction instead of plagiarizing most parts.

They call me Jon (among other names). Currrently a student at uni. Since young I've always been moving around, different schools, different countries, and as a mate puts it- my childhood's "pretty f*cked up." It's a blessing I guess, cos I get into trouble a lot, even now, which is kinda a pity.

Most importantly I just want to dedicate this to Laura, my love. My heart skips a beat everytime I remember the times we spent, and I still think of you every day. The Gods have taken a lot away from me and though it hurts to think about it, I hope we'll be together again in time.